Tired..

Today I don't have high fever anymore which makes my life works much better. Still have runny nose, cough and the back pain. It's exactly 3 weeks I've been having this back pain now. It's been quite sometimes that makes me feel like, 'oh, whatever..'

Water is my best friend now. I have never drank this much water before in my life. One new record!

Despite of my illness, so many upsetting things happened (or are happening). Classes, lab, my job supervisor (thanks for introducing to me how mean the 'real world' is), things that aren't working as planned, etc etc etc. The hardest thing for me now is to get motivated and to be grateful. I am not complaining or whatsoever but neither do I feel like seeking HIM. I feel, somehow, numb.

The atmosphere in my room is not very supportive either. If I am physically ill (and a bit mentally too), my roomie, let's just call her H, is mentally ill (that may have given her a bit of physical illness too). Both of us have missed classes for two days. Well, I didn't miss all classes. I went to the first class and then gave up- for 2 days in a row. Poor H, she is uber sad and stress and probably depressed too. I understand how hard it is for her for knowing a problem but not being able to fix it- her parents are about to get divorced. She is such a strong person. She just cried once, when she first knew about her parents' 'plan', and I haven't seen her cried ever sice. But I can tell from her eyes that she is hiding all the pain herself, holding back the emotions and tears so others wont see. She hasnt gone to school and has been watching and sleeping a lot.

I know I really should be grateful. At least, the pain I have now is a physical one, which I am pretty sure will get better (well, hopefully soon) as long as I treat it right (plus prayer too!). I can't imagine if my parents got divorced. I might have gone insane, do crazy things and, even more dangerous, loose my faith (oh GOD forbid!!). I need to learn to be grateful in ANY KIND of situation, dont I?

At this point of my life, to be honest, I just want to seek comfort from my parents. I am phisically and mentally used up..