kelu

Bukan nakalnya sepoi dingin yang buatku sedih
mentari yang entah pergi dan sembunyi dimana itu yang ku sangsi
lewati musim dingin, baru mulai berani pohon-pohon tuk hijau kembali
namun bisa tak hijau lagi kalu hujan tak kian menyentuh bumi

Waktu, kalau itu yang kau mau aku bisa beri
sungguh tak ku mengejar waktu, andai kau mengerti
hanya saja bisa patah rasa ini
kalau kau terus salah artikan maksud hati

ku susuri lembah nurani namun tak kudapat apa
di taman jiwa ku duduk dan bertanya pada asa yang resah
mengapa biarkan gulana jadi raja?
dia bilang apa daya terlanjur sayang, dia pasrah

Mudah mungkin bagi mereka tuk bilang lalu saja
Tak sulit bagimu tuk hempaskan semua gejolak di dada?
Andai tak harus kutempuh jarak dan waktu baru bisa tumbuh semua rasa
Tak kan lama bagiku tuk lupakan semua, biarkan lalu sang pujangga

Aku tak tahu harus apa
Aku tak tahu maumu apa

pissed off

Chase SUCKS!!!!

I am just so pissed off right now! Since the very beginning they have been doing all this silly mistakes which, in my opinion, are ridiculous to be done by such a big company! Today is the climax! I am SO PISSED OFF!!! Because of their lame system, this whole business needed to get done today now has to be suspended. Plans that were made are now ruined, by Chase!!!!! I am so pissed, gosh..

I really need to get a new back account! I cannot stand this anymore! I don't think I can handle anymore chase-related trouble. Enough!!!!

3 quick facts

As always, when I got inspired to write crappy post on my blog, it means I am running away from don't-feel-like-doing-it schoolwork! lol

So yea, Mr. Weather is finally in a good mood. After giving me the hail-storm attack on Tuesday night on my way to the science quad, you better treat me right today and give me a nice sunny weekend, Mr. W!

I am running away from this 7-9 pages Ecology paper. My brain is so fried and eating double-scoop buckeyes classic ice cream doesn't help to cool it down. Instead, it makes it soggy- I am more motivated to CHILL OUT now, not doing work! Bleh.. Okay, besides that fried brain of mine, I think there are some other things that have been teasing me, buggering my mind, poking my soul, and preventing me from geeking-out:

First, too much skyping with peeps from home does not ease my homesickness. Rather, I am EVEN MORE HOMESICK now!! T^T
I miss being spoiled by my dad and getting massage from his "tapak dewa", mom & me: indulging ourselves with hair spa, joking and playing around with my lil bro, heart-to-heart talking with sis, and my bro's ENGAGEMENT!!!!

Second, this weekend I will meet with him. The first time we will meet each other after all that processes and I am so excited! So so so uber excited!!! :D I knew I love him from the first time I saw him online. He'll be my first. I can't wait to have great times with him and treat him well :)

Third, I got the vibrate! I can feel it and I am just waiting for this question to meet her answer "is this for real?". I just simply cannot get this out of my head. I have to confess that I am so hopeless and can't help myself. Praying hard that God will help me to be patient and that I can make a good decision regardless my emotional fluctuations. This is so certain yet uncertain at the same time. We will see..


~vouz me manquez, mes bebes!!

You are beautiful beyond description

You are beautiful beyond description
Too marvelous for words
Too wonderful for comprehension
Like nothing ever seen or heard
Who can grasp Your infinite wisdom
Who can fathom the depths of Your love
You are beautiful beyond description
Majesty, enthroned above

And I stand, I stand in awe of You
I stand, I stand in awe of You
Holy God to whom all praise is due
I stand in awe of You

You are beautiful beyond description
Too marvelous for words
Too wonderful for comprehension
Like nothing ever seen or heard
Who can grasp Your infinite wisdom
Who can fathom the depths of Your love
You are beautiful beyond description
Majesty, enthroned above

And I stand, I stand in awe of You
I stand, I stand in awe of You
Holy God to whom all praise is due
I stand in awe of You
Yes, I stand in awe of You
I stand in awe of You

perasaan (dan kenyataan?)

rasanya ingin kutulis..





rasanya ingin kutulis...












sampe jadi gatel rasanya ni tangan.. hehehehe

goshhhhh.. what's wrong with moi?

btw, Happy Easter to you all! =)

gray area

I know I shouldn't be writing my blog now. I should be studying Maths instead. But I think I need to write this down so I won't be thinking about this thing anymore, coz otherwise I won't be able to concentrate studying.

Apapun itu, aku rasa semua org setuju bahwa berada di posisi "abu-abu" itu sangat tidak mengenakkan. Hitam atau putih, salah satu memang pasti ada yg lebih dipilih. Ada yang lebih menguntungkan dan/atau mengenakkan. Namun apapun kenyataanya, entah yang baik atau tidak, aku lebih memilih untuk tahu dengan pasti. Hitam atau putih. Ada atau tidak. Benar atau salah. Kenyataan atau salah paham.

Masalahnya, yang kuhadapi saat ini, bukan masalah memilih. Namun lebih ke masalah mempredikisi dan menginterpretasi. And I am really bad at this kinda stuff. Orang bilang 'Hidup itu cuma sekali, buat apa dibawa susah!'. I do agree but I cannot do that. Being a paranoid myself, I tend to complicate things/ situations. Which then often create misunderstandings. Which then complicates things even more! Geez..

Intinya gua cm pengen tau! Hitam atau putih! Gray area does me no good! Ibaratnya, kalo mau maen becek, sklaian nyebur dan kotor-kotoran dari ujung rambut ke ujung kaki! Ngapain berdiri di samping becekan, trus kena percikan2nya di baju! NANGGUNG!!! Kalo emang setengah2 hati, mending menjauh dr becekan! Daripada kena baju, maen ngga, yg ada cm noda yg ngga bisa ilang..

For sure I know everything happens for at least a reason. In most case, I believe, everything happens for lots of reasons. Reasons that God wants me to learn in order to be a better person and a stronger Christian. May God enables me to patiently wait for His answer.

Ok. Now maths..

101F

it's only 5.43am and I am awake. Actually, I have been awake since 5am, with this fever bugging me. I am 101F now, the thermometer says so. Not quite sure if it's high enough to be consider as a fever. But for sure I feel the pain. My head is so painful now, tummy is being rebellious and feel like my bones are cracked.

I tried to go back to sleep after taking the medicine but cannot fall asleep. Lying on bed somehow hurts my head even more. Sitting and doing nothing also hurt my head. So I decided just to write. Hopefully while I am writing now, the medicine will start reacting and brings my body temperature down. I do not have time to be ill now. Ecology exam is this Friday. Haven't studied for it.. Maths hw is also due Friday. Thank God nanoscience weekly hw that is usually due Friday, is due Monday this time..

Feel like calling home now. But I know I shouldn't. Don't wanna make them worry. Yesterday I already felt the symptom. My body was kinda warm, though I didn't check how warm I was (wonder if "warm" is really the term. oh wtvs!), and I felt like vomiting. My friends, R and R, said "jangan2.. km hamil njel!!". lol. "Enak aja!" gua bilang, "emang gua hamil ama ANGIN!!??"

Then I start thinking about how if human reproductive system was like flower's. They 'have sex' by animal or wind seed dispersal. Jeez, that wont be nice I guess. Every time it is windy outside, I'll just be sitting at home, wrapping myself with impermeable cloths to make sure no sperm will got dispersed by the wind to my skin. Or, I'll be carrying a bug killer (not so sure what it is..lol) to kill bugs that are flying around me! Coz otherwise I'd get pregnant!! LOL. And I thank God I am not a flower, neither human's reproductive system is like flower's.

this is bullshit i know.. lol
ahhhh, my head starts to hurt again.. :(