For who I am, not what I am

Like one of my friends' favorite quote says "Everything happens for a reason!" I would like to say "Amen!".

It's been a while since the time I realized that things do change unexpectedly and so do people. It saddens me I wont lie. But I am trying to see the bright side of this tough situation I am facing now. For someone that's very closed to herself like me, a hard time like this is indeed a nerve cracking time. At the beginning, I thought I was alone (since I was relying on my feelings and complex paranoid thoughts). I did pray, I did surrender. But my rational thoughts plus my emotion were on the top of them. Last Sunday God touched my heart. The songs and the Bible sharing hit me straight; BULL'S EYE!!!. After all my humanly efforts to overcome everything, that was the time for me to bow my knees and wholly surrender my all to the Mighty One. Now I can proudly say that I AM STRONG (but only when I am clung to HIM)!

That book landed on my Po Box just at the right time. I ordered a book from RBC and am reading it at the moment. "Why Pray?" is my before-bed reading now and I have been learning about the power of prayer, about how important prayer is in Christians' lives, about the fact that many Christians underestimate prayer and how it affects their lives and I am expecting to learn more as I am finishing that rather thin book.

I realized that my life has been a 'too blessed one'. I use 'too' not that I feel feed up by His blessings or whatsoever but to refer to my weakness. I take the blessing for granted. I remember a pastor from home said, "Do not focus on the blessings. Focus on the Source of The Blessings!". I am glad that God never get bored to warn me every time I start to walk away from Him. He knows I wont survive without Him, though I often (consciously and/or unconsciously) 'sneak out' and get lost. But, well, He knows all my hiding places. Challenging times draw me even closer to Him and now I have better understanding about what a loving yet envious God my God is. No one can ever love me the way He loves me. Jesus loves me for who I am and not what I am. It's actually way more than that. HE loves me because of who HE is. HE is God, my heavenyl Father. HE is Love. And it's 101% undeniable!

Anyhow, I have been thinking so much about home lately. Am I homesick? Seven more weeks to go and I'll be indulging myself with all the goodness of being a temporary queen.lol. Mom, Dad, Ko, Gab, De.. miss you all :)