Tho' the sky is still cloudless

Abu-abu
Rindu
Rasa tak tentu
Cinta jatuh
Rasa yang berpadu
Sayangku
Rasa yang berpadu
Cinta jauh
Rasa tak tentu
Rindu
Abu-abu

A poem inspired by my heart. Subconsciously written by my spotless soul about a month ago..
Seperti biasa.. kalo udah mulai nulis yg random2, itu tandnya gua lagi lari dari tugas kewajiban dan tanggung jawab gua.hehehe.. Yes, I am runing away from preparing my french presentation. The presentation is for tomororw at bloody 9am in the morning. I am not even hal way done. But what surprises me is I am not anxious at all. Which is actually dangerous because it simply means that I am not putting the best efforts on it. And it, obviously, contradicts my perfectionism. Again, I have been thinking about home, too much! That's probably the reason why my appetite has been surprisingly high sice two weeks ago. I eat a lot when am not in mood. And it is a problem. Coz when I eat a lot, I sleep a lot too. I just do not function properly. I hibernate all the time. Final exam is approaching and I better do some real efforts to overcome this homesickness before it destroys my geekness even more.

Well, wish me luck for tomorrow! ;)

Keliatan kan yg lagi lari dari tugas.. (-_-)

30 November
Lucky Color: Mustard
Personality Strengths: Compassion, Care
Personality Weakness(es): Impatience
Successful Career Path: Science
Sense of Humor Style: Raunchy
Adjectives to Describe You: enterprising, strong
Description:
Cute and charming - you are immensely popular and well-liked by all those around you. Bubbly and vivacious, you are the life of the party and everyone wants to be like you.


What do you think?

Mal au dos.. auch!

Pinggang gua sakit niyyyyyy... T^T

Gua kaget banget kemaren. Tiba2 aja, pas mau pergi ke perpustakaan, gua ampir jatuh dari kursi gara2 pinggang gua tiba2 nyeri banget waktu gua mo berdiri. Sampe di library, lebih parah lagi. Mo duduk aja susah. Berdiri juga sakit. Trus, kan guanya kerja di library, jadi got to do some stuff, got to get the stuff people wanted to borrow. Ada yg d rak tinggi, ada yg di laci rendah. It was a pain really. Gile aje, gua ngga bisa merenggangkan tangan gua, ngga bisa jalan cepet. Kalo mau ngambil barang yg aga rendah, aku harus duduk/berlutut, ngga bisa cuma membungkuk or nunduk coz belakang gua nyeri banget.. Nyerinya malam itu sampe kaki gua jadi ngilu banget.. Aih aih.. Faktor usia niy. Udah tua.. hehehe..

Hari ini udah agak lumayan tapi masih suka nyeri kalo mo duduk or mo beridiri. I dunno what actually happened. Bingung gua. Soale tiba2 aje sakit gini. Hais.. Ato, apa karna kurang minum ye? Hmmmm, gua jadi ngerti skrg knapa org2 yg udah lanjut usia senengnya duduk2 di sofa or rocking chair. I understand now why the olds cannot do things quickly. And suddenly, dont know why, I thought about how important milk is.. (off topic)lol

Me against short hair (!/?)

The weather was nice so we (me and my other 3 friends) decided to lay on the grass near our dorm for a while. They were 'sun bathing' and I was avoiding the sun, obviously. I am asian. Anyhow, I suddenly tought about haircut today. Not because of a sudden enlightenment or whatsoever but because lots of Kenyon folks that I know have had their hair cut. Some of them just changed their hair style but most of them really cut their hair. I really mean this. They got uber short hair now! I was surprised!

I knew some of them had grown their hair for quite sometimes and it's quite a decision to get such short hair cut, I suppose. But, I must confess that it's a positive change. They look diffrent. They look fhresher. Then I suddenly thought about cutting my hair short too. Dude, my old pals would surely be sohocked if I did that. People almost always associate me with either my jokes, my singing, or my very long hair. I can't imagine having a big change in any one of those three trademarks of mine. Say I cut my hair. Not very2 short but let's say up to my shoulders.. I wonder how would I look.. Nah! I wont ever cut my hair that short. Not that others would be surprised, but I myself would be so shocked.lol. I'll definately get a haircut when I go home this summer. But I'll make sure that my hair will still be long.

Oh oh.. Almost forgotten.. I just figured out that I dont have to write up a report for the experiment we did last Wed and today!! Yayyyyyy!! (^O^)v That's really a gift from heaven!! No lab report for next week! I can have some fun and get more than 3hours sleep on Tuesday night! nananananananaaa.. ^^

Oh ya, dat pic is when I was little. When my hair was still under my mom's 'control', dat's why it's so short. hehehehe..

Kaipaava

by. Essi Wuorela & Jussi Chydenius

Ja ilman kuuta ja aurinkoa
tama maailma pimia on
sula rai-ai-ai, sula rallallei
tama maailma pimia on

Ja yhden pojan tahden
minun sydameni kipia on
sula rai-ai-ai, sula rallallei
minun sydameni kipia on

Sina hienoinen kuin heina
mina matala niinkuin maa
sula rai-ai-ai, sula rallallei
mina matala niinkuin maa

Oi jos sina kultani tietaisit
kuinka ikava minulla on!
Niin varmaanhan sina rientaisit
etka matkalla viipyisi
sula rai-ai-ai, sula rallallei
etka matkalla viipyisi

My most fave chamber singer's song! It's a piece in Finish with a very deep lyric. This song is very powerful in moving the audiences' emotions. Even the singers' emotions too. "Ja yhden pojan tahden minun sydameni kipia on" is the most moving line for me. It's really me.

Oh ya, today at church, I talked to Om Harlan about my longing to learn how to play guitar. He told me that he would be willing to train me. Then I suddenly want to learn how to play piano too. He encouraged me to do so and ensured me that it's not too late for me to start learning as long as I am willing to put serious efforts on them. Moreover, Ko Bud, Wenny and Ko Jimmy just also asked him to train them (piano only). So now I am excited to learn. We will run this competition! We'll see who'll be 'The Pianist' first^^

Becoz I am turning 20 this year?

Easter was great! With bunchhhhhh of food. That was awful lots of fooooooooods. I brought back some. Just ate some of the puddings with my roomies.

Again, the Bible sharing was a 'Bull's Eye!'. I dunno why it feels like, God has been talking to me pretty drecly through Pastor Yo. The sharings, 2 weeks in a row, were absolutelly 'for me'. Absolutelly. I am amazed by HIM.


Still, I cant run from my feelings. Homesick. Yes I am. Pushing everything into a box wont do me any good. What a complex creature humang being is. And I, with all of my ability to stand on the waves, am trying to take it bit by bit. Songs, buildings, cars, places, friends, and even my own reflection. Driving me nuts. My emotion is like a carnival. Is it what you call the process of maturing? Why now? Is it becoz I am turning 20 this year? (Oh gosh.. yes i am turning 20 this year!!! Dudeeee.. I am ooooooooolddd -_-)

Piuuuffffff.. feel a bit better after writing all these. Gotta work on Bio now. Then french. Tu me manque.. Tu me manque.. tres tres beaucoup. Lord have mercy on me..

For who I am, not what I am

Like one of my friends' favorite quote says "Everything happens for a reason!" I would like to say "Amen!".

It's been a while since the time I realized that things do change unexpectedly and so do people. It saddens me I wont lie. But I am trying to see the bright side of this tough situation I am facing now. For someone that's very closed to herself like me, a hard time like this is indeed a nerve cracking time. At the beginning, I thought I was alone (since I was relying on my feelings and complex paranoid thoughts). I did pray, I did surrender. But my rational thoughts plus my emotion were on the top of them. Last Sunday God touched my heart. The songs and the Bible sharing hit me straight; BULL'S EYE!!!. After all my humanly efforts to overcome everything, that was the time for me to bow my knees and wholly surrender my all to the Mighty One. Now I can proudly say that I AM STRONG (but only when I am clung to HIM)!

That book landed on my Po Box just at the right time. I ordered a book from RBC and am reading it at the moment. "Why Pray?" is my before-bed reading now and I have been learning about the power of prayer, about how important prayer is in Christians' lives, about the fact that many Christians underestimate prayer and how it affects their lives and I am expecting to learn more as I am finishing that rather thin book.

I realized that my life has been a 'too blessed one'. I use 'too' not that I feel feed up by His blessings or whatsoever but to refer to my weakness. I take the blessing for granted. I remember a pastor from home said, "Do not focus on the blessings. Focus on the Source of The Blessings!". I am glad that God never get bored to warn me every time I start to walk away from Him. He knows I wont survive without Him, though I often (consciously and/or unconsciously) 'sneak out' and get lost. But, well, He knows all my hiding places. Challenging times draw me even closer to Him and now I have better understanding about what a loving yet envious God my God is. No one can ever love me the way He loves me. Jesus loves me for who I am and not what I am. It's actually way more than that. HE loves me because of who HE is. HE is God, my heavenyl Father. HE is Love. And it's 101% undeniable!

Anyhow, I have been thinking so much about home lately. Am I homesick? Seven more weeks to go and I'll be indulging myself with all the goodness of being a temporary queen.lol. Mom, Dad, Ko, Gab, De.. miss you all :)

Me by Them 2

Sambungan dari post sebelumnya, 'Me by Them'. Still taken by the 3 'kamera maniak'. For these ones, I decided to put caption on each photo. The captions aren't randomly writen. They have a theme.


Looking at you



The sky is not forever gray



What?



Confused



Watching alone



Try to stand strong



Down



See what you did to me?



Tired of all this!



Is yet to overcome



It's okay



Shadow



Like things change, people do change too



Not yet

Me by Them

Hangin out with two photographers and one photographer to be, these are the results..












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