a reminder for myself to be grateful =)

one day you are broken -hearted.
another day, you are madly in love.

that's what makes life interesting. full of stories, memories, tears, and smiles.

Blessed be the name of the Lord, for this life of mine, is a life full of blessings =)

the microscopic wonders

really cool article, check it out!

http://green.yahoo.com/blog/greenpicks/292/rare-images-beyond-the-naked-eye.html

Aching

sometimes when it hurts
I truly wished you knew
about all the tears that burst
all because I madly love you

why do good things come to an end?
or should I ask why I dare to play the game?
love is not something you should pretend
and to love me, I hope it's not a shame

has it changed?
those sweet words, why?
so warm they sound, so perfect they seemed
but it feels dry, indeed so dry

you said..
"I would do it all over again"
"I wouldn't hesitate for a second"
"I woulnd't trade one minute.."
..with me?

even to question is hard
for my heart doesn't know what to ask
"am I the still one?"
or in angusih I should wishper "am I not the only one?"

if only I could take back all that memories
I would go back right to those times
but what can I do when your heart has started to cease?
probably I should be prepared for some sweet good-byes

you may say nothing is wrong
but my heart can tell something is not going right
I might not be that strong
but I am ready to be alone, if that's what's right

as easy as 1, 2, 3, 4?

I have never been this terrified this semester!

1st: so scared about my 1st Phi Chem exam. I really really think I did badly on this one. I just need to pass that class, please God..

2nd: senior exercie was not great. I wonder if Prof. Hicks will be "happy" enough with watever I wrote. *crossing my fingers*

3rd: has it changed? I am afraid that I am losing it.. I would rather withdraw myself from the arena than to be broken to pieces.

4th: I need some peace of mind.

feels like giving up..

oh Lord, have mercy on me.

academically offended!!

Being the only female in a lab full of males is not as comfortable as I thought it would be- especially when the lab is full of boys who think they know everything and you know nothing!

The lab where I am working consists of six people, with me being the only girl (even the supervisor is a male prof.)

Now I understand if other lab members often refer to my lab as the "fraternity of chem dept. lab". Because they are indeed acting like one! Well, not all of them are acting like d*****b**s. But you can definitly feels the atmosphere of rudeness and excessive self-pride once you joined them (again, not all of them. Some of them are "forced" to have the same/ similar attitude just because..). The prof is nice though, I like him a lot. But one of them is just wracking my nerves right now! I am just praying that I can control my self until the end of this semester. I am def leaving this lab when this semester ends.

God forgive me for being this angry

forget me not

sedih..

things and people change.
I just did not expect that you will change too.
Truth be told, it's beyond my anticipation.
Probably you just need some space.

here we go, some wishful thinking..

11 October 2010

Happy 1st Anniversary for us!

whatcha gonna do with all that a**, all that a** inside your jeans?

Two posts in a day? YES! Because I am pretty stressed out with my senior thesis. I need to "procrastinate" a little bit to calm down. lol

Anyhow, I used to complain about my not-so-propotional figure due to my not-so-small (read: big) bottoms (read: A** or BUTT). Additionally, having a tiny waist clearly doesn't help at all in making my body looks anything near propotional. I have a rather-big pair of bottoms in comparison to my rather petite figure. My dad once said, "You should not complain [about my a**], they're your assets!" lol. As I grow up, I realized that my dad was right-- they're my precious assets indeed (even R seconded this motion.lol)! Though it doens't make any easier for me when it comes to buying pants (you can imagine how hard it is to buy a pair of jeans when you have a small waist yet big a**. And I hate alterations!). Below is what makes me even more grateful for "the assets" that God's given to me *I also learn how to be grateful*:


Bokong Besar Pertanda Jantung Sehat

VIVAnews - Memiliki bokong besar bukan sekadar menampilkan kesan seksi. Studi terbaru mengungkap, timbunan lemak di bagian bokong dan paha dapat meningkatkan harapan hidup pemiliknya.

Berdasar studi yang dilakukan sejumlah pakar kesehatan dari Mayo Clinic, di Rochester, Minnesota, lemak yang terakumulasi di bokong dan pangkal kaki bagian atas justru mengurangi risiko penyakit jantung, stroke, dan diabetes. Tidak seperti lemak di perut yang meningkatkan risiko tiga penyakit tersebut.

Tim peneliti yang dipimpin Dr Michael Jensen melibatkan 28 pria dan wanita sebagai partisipan. Selama delapan minggu, mereka memberi perlakuan dan pola makan yang sama terhadap seluruh partisipan. Mereka ingin melihat pertumbuhan lemak di tubuh para partisipan.

Mayoritas partisipan memiliki lemak sekitar 2,45 kg di bagian tubuh atas seperti perut dan dada. Sementara di bagian tubuh bawah seperti bokong, pinggul, dan paha sekitar 1,5 kg. Pengukuran ini dilakukan sebelum dan setelah 'masa karantina'.

Dalam penelitian terungkap, ada perbedaan sel-sel lemak yang melilit bagian tubuh atas dan bawah. Sel-sel lemak di bagian tubuh bawah mengandung agen anti-inflamasi alami yang dapat menghentikan penyumbatan arteri.

Seperti dikutip dari Daily Mail, Jensen mengatakan, temuan ini menantangnya untuk mencari cara meningkatkan produksi lemak di bagian tubuh bagian bawah tanpa menambah timbunan lemak di bagian tubuh bagian atas. "Ini penting untuk membentuk perlindungan tubuh dan membantu mencegah penyakit."

Temuan yang dipublikasikan pada Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences mungkin bisa menjelaskan manfaat memiliki tubuh berbentuk buah pir. (pet)

dikutip dari: Yahoo! News

that other side of me

So much work, so little time. Actually, the time was not that little. I was lack of motivation-- did almost nothing on Friday. Geez..

Anyhow, it's now less than 24 hrs. I am pretty nervous about it. Nervous that I am expecting too much and will just disappoint myself. For sure, I want to renew it. I am tired of a fake X. I am not sincere that the evil side of my being (so-called) is indulging this X, having so-called sinful fun with Y. I want to be free. I want to be the ordinary girl (yet extraordinary in HIM) that I used to be.

Often I feel that the dry side of my heart is expanding. But I can barely tell what I thirst for. I need you Lord, that's for sure.

should I apply? should I not?

It's October the 1st already. I am already in a lot of disadvantages to apply this late. But should I just apply anyway? God I need a clue.


Is going to dental school in US my fate?