(So yea, that night of amazement explained on my previous post is the derivation of this post)
Let's be straightforward this time!
I believe that not everyone is pretty
Well, if everyone was pretty, everyone would be American top models. Or, there would not be such term as 'model'. Makes enough sense, I suppose. I do not regret the fact that I wasn't born as a physically very attractive girl. I used to do so, though. Well, not as extreme as 'regret' but I won't lie I often saddened by the fact that I wasn't born as pretty as my big sister. When I was little, I always compare myself to her. More aptly, people do compare us directly and indirectly. She has everything (Asian) girls want/ wish to have- cute pimple-free face, nice body, intelligence, strong characteristic, bright skin, nice slender legs, easy to manage hair, handsome boyfriend, and many others that I cannot recall now at 3.20am in the morning. Next to her, I felt like a shadow. That kind of feeling is indeed a yukie one, isn't it? Why do I have to be born not so pretty (if not ugly)?
Being pretty is not easy
As I grow older, I perceive life's facts better. Age gives one more angles in seeing one's and other's lives. My big sister is older than me (of course, duh Angel!). She also got the chance to face the world of young lads, earlier than me. From my naive 13 year-old perspective, I truly admired the fact that cute boys are always in line for her. Man, she just need to point one of them with her pinkie! (that's more and less what I thought). Then as I aged, entered senior high school, I also got the chance to be introduced to the complex world of the opposite sex. My line wasn't as long as my sister's for some obvious reasons. No surprise, coz I kind of expected that to happen. But hey, I was not upset or whatsoever. Always see the glass as half full, not half empty! I took lessons from what I see. Being pretty is a blessing yet is not an easy job. For my sister's case, I see how so many boys want to be her man. Many men equals hard to choose. Both the real gentlemen and the jerks are attracted to good looking laides = common sense. The good and the pretend-to-be-good lads are mixed up! Isn't it hard for a pretty girl to decide which one is really, in and out, a good one? Being pretty is a tough job (of course because the jerks do act up to be angelic when they want to get the hot chick!). For the not-so-pretty one, not a lot of boys in stock. The boy(s) that are attracted to her is/are likely to be so because of knowing her as a person aka her personality. My 'unprettiness' automatically eliminates the ones that were (could be) into me only for the sake of lust. The guys, the only few ones, that were attracted to me were those who see me as who I am, not what I am. As a result, not so many boys to choose from! See how much easier for me to pick the good one? If you are in the same situation as mine, be grateful for that!
Pretty is about relativity
Then as I got to meet more and more people and travel from a place to another, I came to a realization that prettiness is indeed relative to so many aspects aka "cantik itu relatif". If I were in the middle of America's top models, of course I would look like a lackey! But say I were in the middle of the "ugly" ones, I would surely look very pretty! But again, the term "ugly" itself is rather ambiguous. It depends on the society. Lighter skin is pretty for the Japanese, while the Westerns are obsessed with golden tanned skin. Most Asian girls believe that to be pretty means to be skinny. While in some African tribes, the plumper a girl the prettier she is. It's like a coin having two sides, each side has equal probability to occur: at a place you might be categorized as pretty yet at another place the chance that you will join the group of "ugly" people is just as big!
Yet I do believe that everyone is beautiful
Beauty is universal yet represented uniquely in each soul. I have heard many complaints form my friends, about the discouragement they feel for not being physically so attractive. I swear I do not bring this up so that I can blame them. Neither do I talk about this to show how strong of a girl I am or how humongous my confidence is. I just sincerely want to share my thoughts because I know exactly how it feels to feel that way. I believe our God is a fair God. He creates everyone to be beautiful. Another reason to convince you this is the fact that He creates us according to His image! If you were ugly, does it mean God is ugly then since you were created according to His image? Na-ah! Hey, don't piss Him off by having such poor paranoid thought! Everyone, you and me are included, is BEAUTIFUL!
Beauty is incomparable
Every person is beautiful in their own unique ways (trust me, our God is an awesomely creative Dude!) and thus beauty is incomparable. Just like you cannot juxtapose apple and orange, you cannot compare your beauty to someone else's. My beauty is different from yours. Say someone is very good at cooking, that's her beauty. You might not be as good at cooking neither you are a very good looking chick but you always listen to people when they need a friend to talk to- another form of beauty! You might be, size wise, a bit wider than other girls but your warm sincere smile cheers your peeps' days, won't you call it a beauty? Patience, forgiveness, humbleness, good sense of humor, sincerity, open-mindedness, passionate life, dedication, friendliness, and many other forms of beauty that I just cannot think of right now at almost 5am in the morning (I really should go to bed soon). Prettiness is enjoyed by the eyes, beauty is embraced by the heart It's not the question whether you are beautiful or not because you are 101% undeniably freaking beautiful. What matters is whether you can let your beauty shine or not!
"Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart"
~Kahlil Gibran
"Prettiness may fade as time goes by yet a shining beauty is well preserved in the heart"
~Angel Mogie
1 comment:
'ngel, writing a manifesto on prettiness? I think prettiness is not relative, it is subjective, but not wildly subjective. Like a painting, some people will like it, some will hate it, some people don't care... but honestly many will agree if it is a "pretty" painting or not. For me (from my snobbish masculine perspective) prettiness of a girl is something to be worked for, a state yet to be summoned. Yes I agree with your points (and Gibran's quote) that it is not all about physical. But we (girls) should not embrace the other view either, the notion that prettiness is what “you-see-is-what-I-were given-so-take-it-or-get-lost”. That’s is a feel-good approach, an Oprah Winfrey or Dr. Phil’s world. And is not beneficial for the male species. Girls should work on their prettiness. It is a combination of many things… but most importantly is prettiness is the ability to deploy all necessary means to achieve the maximum affect. Some of those include the physical traits, emotional intelligence, real intelligence, language, posture, posturing, etc, etc… you know what I mean. It is not a single thing. It’s a complex warfare. A game of life. That’s what makes life (the space between a guy and girl) interesting, full of tension, beautiful, sexy, and sublime. It is when everybody takes their prettiness project seriously not to take your feel-good approach. I guess at this point that would include guys too. Come on, just to be a little fair. Otherwise, I will get my hair pulled by you or other angry ladies on the streets who read this. Now I am a little torned about what I just said. Was I talking about charmingness? Eitherway, be pretty please… and ladies first.
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