Let it snow let it snow let me cry..
It's been a week, or maybe even more than a week.. I have been crying. Everyday. Not 24/7, but literally everyday. Once or twice, if not three times a day. My eyes do not look like human eyes anymore. They look rather like panda eyes, dark and puffy.
I HATE the feeling of losing. My heart just cannot handle such sorrow of losing three beloved people in less than a month. Janet and Ariel had moved on, taking bigger steps and opening new pages of their books of life. I skyped with Janet yesterday. She looked happy and relaxed, which she really deserved. I miss her.. Ariel has finally met her gf of 3 years. Having not to see each other since they started dating must been very tough. I am trully happy to see him so content being home. Meeting the ones he loves much. Ray, my source of comfort in cold Ohio and stressful Kenyon academia, is about to leave me alone. Leave me behind with another four-month full of not-so-fun school work and all the hassle of my last semester on this Hill. I wished he could be here for my last Philander Phling this coming Phebruary. I wished he would be here, celebrating with me his 23rd birthday. I wished he could be here for my graduation. But at least there's something to be lookinf forward for: Ray is visiting me at home this coming January. Finally he'll get the chance to meet with my family, am so excited! =)
Perhaps, God want me to learn. Or rather it's a reminder, that I should not stay in my comfort zone all the time. That I should learn to care about and dare to know others, others outside my "group".
to be continued..
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